Long time coming

So begins our vacation. We’ve been away from the boy before, and I’m not usually one of those overly emotional clingly mom types who cries and wails whenever we leave the “baby” -- granted, this is the longest we’ll have been away from Grif, and the longest he’ll have stayed with grandma, but that’s not what had me in tears. Cuz yes, there were tears when I walked away from Grandma’s car, his little life of toys and clothes and bunny and dog filling up the back of her car. What choked me up had to do with, as usual, time. 

I’ve finally come to a point in the year where the freelance work is done (but hopefully more coming down the pike), so no outstanding work or obligation or task is pulling me away from the boy’s constant cries of “come play with me, mommy.” The holidays are over, the baking, shopping, wrapping and traveling are over as well -- so much so that everything is put away and stored for another year. Most of the laundry is done, caught up, as is the house in its current state of “pretty clean.” The packing and prepping and double-checking for this trip is complete as well... and so this afternoon came the time to finally, fully relax. The time when I could finally put everything down, not have anything pressing me to get done, the time when I could finally focus all my attention on the boy... and then we left. 

Which is not to say that I’ll be in any real crazy insane working mode when we return. Sure, they’ll be the obligatory unpacking and putting everything away and the new batch of laundry to do, but time-wise, I’ll still have the same (luxurious, glorious) copious amounts -- no upcoming events, no crazy side-work, nothing to prep and pack for. And maybe, hopefully, after some time away, time where I can catch up on sleep -- lots and lots of sleep and napping and movie watching and yoga and hanging with friends and skiing and all the rest this lovely, magical place in the mountains brings -- hopefully I’ll be more refreshed than ever, so the times I’ll have with the boy will be that much more fun and focused and free. He deserves it, and so do I. 

But for now, I miss him a little. I miss the time that I’ve already wasted trying to get to this point, sometimes at his expense. I miss his smell and his little face and his heart-melting laugh. But I’ve missed my pilot too, and with the craziness of editing and working and holiday rush, we’ve missed spending good time together as well. We’ve missed each other, and for this trip, I’m so thankful that we have the time to recharge and relax with each other, for each other. So for as much as I miss the boy and the fact that this “down” time could be solely dedicated to him, I know -- and am soooooo very thankful for -- this time is just for the pilot and me. Cool, no?