Acknowledgement

So, I think it's worth noting that as of today, I have posted more blog entries in this first month of 2012 than I did in all of 2010 and 2011. For the past three weeks, it's been an interesting journey, finding shots to take of the boy each day, finding time to sit down here at this computer every day, finding heart to write about something new and poignant and blog-worthy every day.

Some are better than others. Some have made me sit back, after re-reading, and smile in awe and wonder, at my talent, at my life. Some have made me sigh. Some cry. Some are just ok, and even more importantly, I'm ok with those that fall into the realm of mediocre. Only a few have garnered any comments, and I'm ok with that too. Although I do wonder if anyone is following along... or if this will all just become something amazing for Grif and me to look back and read together someday. Either way is perfect.

So here's to writing, every day. And to forgiving myself and being easy on myself if I choose to break that cycle this week -- as we go on a (for me, MUCH-needed) vacation to Colorado, I'd love to promise that I will continue these daily pics and daily posts. And I truly intend to try. But if for some reason I miss one, or choose to miss one, to take a little break, a little breather, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm not going to go crazy trying to take time to post something just to check off another day. That's not what this has been about.

Instead, I'm going to relax. Unwind. Sleep in. Nap. Hopefully do some yoga in Longmont, hopefully doing some skiing in Salida, hopefully see a few movies, and I know catch up with good friends and generally enjoy life. And we'll just see what the rest of the time brings.

So if you've been following along for the last 20-odd days, here's to you too. And if you're reading along and looking back, my future self, here's to you as well. To these and many more. Cheers!

So this life coach says...

I went to a Ladies Night Out last week at my favorite new pilates studio. Drinks and appetizers, jewelry for sale, 15-minute massages, salsa dancing...and a life coach. Before I go much further, you must first imagine how I just said that word, life coach, with a slight moue on my face. I know a life coach -- a real, sincere, good life coach -- my dearest, dearest, soul mate of a sister/best friend/maid of honor/godmother to my child, and I'm here to tell you, that my friend was made to do this -- she's been doing it for me on some level since we met when I was 16 and she 14...but this lady, let's call her Jane, exuded this vibe that was altogether too easy to role my eyes at. "I'm a life coach," she breathes in her cheery, determined voice...

Anyway, Jane set me on edge from the start...to get things rolling, she asked the ladies within earshot, "Are you ready to make a change?" Complete with her book in the background and worksheets in hand, I got an immediate used-car-sales vibe from her from the get-go. Good lord. Now again, I believe in life coaching, for creativity, for inner peace, for goal-setting, for learning better how to live your life. Jane seemed to have an agenda -- a business agenda -- and her job was to take us through this (very long, repetitive, staged) talk that would explain what a life coach does and the (long, repetitive, staged) process that she uses to accomplish her clients' goals. She mostly focused on health and exercise -- and how to change your daily behaviors and expectations in order to meet these body and diet goals. And she does much of her coaching over the phone apparently. Which just made me cringe even more. On the phone? Come on, lady.

At some point during her shtick, she finally posed a question to the group (imagine a dozen glassy-eyed women sitting somewhat morosely on exercise balls casually bouncing up and down to stay awake), "Who here has a goal they want to achieve -- and wouldn't mind sharing with the group?" As she stared intently (bright-eyed, expectant) at us, someone piped up with, "I want to finish my book." What the...? Did that just come out of my mouth? Crap. How did that happen? Where did that come from? Me, apparently. "Ooooooh, that's a good one," Jane exclaimed, clapping her hands in delight and focusing entirely on me now. Fantastic.

What followed was a series of questions -- showing the group the type of questions she would ask me if I were (eek) her client and she my (gasp) life coach:

Do you have a title? (I did, but it had been so long since I worked on it that in that moment, I actually forgot what it was.)
How long have you been working on it? (Forever. Actually writing it since...and I paused....2001.)
What's it about? (My mother. And her first husband. Who was killed in the Vietnam war. And hence is the whole reason I am here.)

Jane started to coo again, practically rubbing her hands together in some sort of life-coachy delight. But here's where she got interesting:

Why do you want to write it? (Because I'm a writer. Because it's a good story.)
Who are you writing it for? (Uhhhh. Good question. Myself? My mother? I wasn't sure. I'm still not.)
What's stopping you from completing it? (Everything. Time. The fact that I'm a mother of an 18-month-old, working full-time, with a husband who's a pilot and is gone for days at a time effectively leaving me a single mother and it's all I can do to set aside an hour to workout or find a babysitter so I can come to events like this...this came out in one breathless rush).

She asked me some other questions, about finances (yeah I have to work full-time right now) and my husband's support (yes he supports me greatly, can't wait til I finish the NYT bestseller so we can both quit working), challenging me with intentions (a writer writes every day) and things I was doing to further my goal (blogging) and what I was going to do in the very near future to accomplish this (um, well, set aside some time to write, review what I've already written and get back to it). And that's where she got me.

As insane and over-the-top and salesman-y as this too happy and intense woman was, she had me there. Set aside some time next week to write. Get back to it. Just write for god's sake. Write. The. Book. Already.

And for as much as I disdained her, judged her, scoffed at her, dismissed her, she got to me. I guess, she did her job. Although I don't need a life coach (yet), I've been thinking about her simple questions and the 15 minutes she spent firing them at me. And no, I haven't written any more of my book just yet (It Was A Very Good Year -- that's the title by the way, just like the Frank song). But I'm getting there. I'm thinking about it. I'm passionate about it again. No longer on the back burner, but burning brightly in my forward consciousness. I want to bring it back and finish it NOW. I want to see how it turns out -- where it takes me -- how it ends. I owe it to my mother, her first husband, most importantly, I owe to me -- the writer I am -- to complete this thing I began so long ago.

I'm off to yoga right now. And then home to see the boys and make dinner and hopefully relax a bit after this day. And maybe, just maybe, I'll write tonight. And if not, I'll have at least written this much about it. And that is a start that I can be happy with.

Three For One

I'm full -- so very full -- of spring and spring fever and a bounce in my step. Joy abounds today and it's because of so many things -- a cool new song that I can't stop tapping my feet to, the gorgeous weather (I love not having to wear a jacket let alone a coat!), and the fact that it's such a lovely thing to realize (remember) that I am, in fact, a writer -- a good writer at that. I know, a bit full of myself there, but today, it just makes me smile ever wider. I feel good, ya know? How truly marvelous.

So let's start the beginning -- I've heard this song a few times on my favorite local radio station and Sirius, and it suits my whole mood for the week. I even sang part of it to Grif last night before bedtime (instead of my usual Van Morrison Sweet Thing)...there's something about the whistling....the chorus....the tune. It screams happiness and joy and lightheartedness (all perfect for lulling Grif to sleep). And it stands the test for late afternoon pick-me-ups. One might even say it kills it for afternoon pick-me-ups. It's sweet and lovely and good. And it hits both marks -- good music and good lyrics. Take a listen here....I dare you not to bop along with it.

Next up? Spring. I love winter (yes, I know, but I truly do -- it's my passion for snow skiing that does it, snow and winter mean steep, snow-covered hills, moguls and fresh powder, and attacking the hill with the perfect tune on my iPod). I love winter, but spring is the herald for so many things -- stomping in mud puddles with Grif, afternoon family walks to the park, hanging outside on the deck with a beer and my pilot after the boy is in bed (and while it's still light out), grill outs, pool days, basking in the sun during my lunch hour, Fountain Square Farmer's Market, beach and lake vacations...I love it all. And it's tangible today -- the cold, snowy days are over and everything is about to bloom. I can feel it in my bones, can't you?

And last, well, the writer thing. I'm on the blog "team" here at work (yes, I'm at work now, ha!), and in the last five months, I've made the effort to blog twice. Twice! Yes, I've been insanely busy, but I can admit that even that seems a bit ridiculous. So I finally made a contribution this week (on, yes of course, wait for it....grammar -- when it's posted, I'll link to it here). I reread it this morn (cuz again of course, I'm truly obsessive compulsive in ensuring there are NO mistakes, even for something silly like a marketing blog). I read it again, and paused. It was good. Really good. And it made me smile -- call it trifecta, hat trick, whatever, but this last bit of realized happiness/joy/satisfaction/inner-smiling-ness seemed to demand a bit of acknowledgment in one crazy, all-inclusive tribute.

And so here it is. Welcome back, Spring. I didn't realize how much I'd missed you.