Stealing the Babies

I've been thinking a lot about Griffin these days (and yes, I know, when do I not think/marvel/dream about him?). Wanting to incorporate more of the joy and worry and stunning-ness that surrounds being a mother. I stare at him all day long -- even when I'm at work, I have a "wall of Griffin" that chronicles this year....he is truly a beautiful child (and yes, I am a wee bit biased). So many different expressions and looks -- his blue, blue eyes mesmerize me, his smile truly melts my heart. So much so that I often get teary looking at him, being thankful for him....being thankful for my motherhood.

I never thought it would be like this. I know that's an understatement for all parents, but I truly was worried at certain points in my life about my ability to love a child. How having a child would change my relationship with my husband -- how could I split my heart and divide my love for my husband with a child? Would I be a good mother? Could I be a good mother? Did I even truly want to be a mother? It was such an abstract idea -- who would this child be that would be mine? There was so much that would be sacrificed, changed, and I had no way -- no possible way -- of knowing what I would gain instead. That I would get a Grif. My adorable, fabulous, amazing boy...

As a child, teenager and young woman, I was not "in" to babies -- I didn't babysit (the few times I tried it because it was the thing that girls "did," it was a total disaster...I had to call my mom to come over and help), I have never ooh'd and aah'd over babies or children. I don't think commercials with children are automatically cute. I didn't want a flowergirl or ring bearer at my wedding, nor were any kids under 16 allowed at the reception. "Here, hold the baby!" Eek, do I have to, really? I had never been the kind of female that ever really felt that overwhelming need or desire to have a child -- I didn't not want to have a child, it just wasn't something that I was focused on. Or thought I needed.

Until now. I've said it before -- my husband is my heart and my soul, but Griffin is the center of my universe. I had no idea motherhood would knock me over like this, would consume me, fill me, become so much of who I am now. Even babies -- I still don't want to hold everyone's baby or coo at everyone's child, but I can see the beauty and wonder in their faces so much more clearly now. And rest assured, if I go out of my way to comment on your child, I truly mean it. Children crack me up -- and perhaps this above all, this window of realization, makes me laugh even more.

So today I'm stealing. Even two years ago, this movie probably would not have caught my eye. I would have maybe seen the trailer, thought it was interesting, but not really something I'd go out of my way to see. What a difference a year makes. I'm laughing even now....this movie does more than intrigue me. And I'm sure that it is only because I'm a mother now.

I saw this on Boho Girl's blog -- and now I'm sharing it with you.