Caught wasting my days trying to prolong them...

Oh, Time, you silly, fickle bitch. How I loathe you worship you talk to you crave you need you despair of you hope for more more more of you. Somehow, I've let you get the best of me once again. Somehow, the hourglass has been supercharged and I find myself nearly in March!

My excuse? I've been busy. Too busy. With work. With life. With all of it. And frankly, I've let 2010 pass me by too quickly without taking the time -- to breathe -- and really enjoy it. Bad girl. Even worse, I haven't blogged, posted, written, created here (or anywhere for that matter) in so very long. So that's not really an excuse -- it's a confession. And one that I'm not happy to have had to make.

So! With a fresh new (simpler) look, we charge forward. Back to it! With hope, happiness and vitality -- with really being here, being present each day for myself, and more importantly, my family. Vowing to live each moment from here on with a smile on my face. To not let useless things like traffic getting to work and to Grif and to life frustrate me. To not let my exhaustion from work get in the way of enjoying playtime with him (he's getting so big, so tall), or "us" time with my pilot. To living each moment better, purer, clearer. Getting back to the real me that this odd winter has somehow sapped a wee bit, and left me feeling slightly out of sorts, melancholy and a bit lost -- not enough to really notice sometimes, but nevertheless diminished slightly. Perhaps that's what made losing (ignoring) these past two months so easy...and why March has crept up on me.

I feel like I often write in circles, coming back to the same message over and over -- but by god somewhere in this repetition the universe will hear me -- I will hear me! -- and hopefully conquer crazy days instead of letting them conquer me.

So -- we're off! Or, back, as it were. And to start this new start, I dedicate this one to Jack London. My parents went to Australia over 10 years ago. And for some reason, they took this picture for me. Ok, maybe not for me, but it was mine from the first time I laid eyes on it. And I've posted it prominently wherever I've worked...it's the quote I leave on most cards, the prose I recite aloud when the occasion warrants, the graffiti I use when given the chance. It's my mantra, and one that this entire blog stems from and revolves around. Hell, it's what I try to revolve my life around. And it's been too long absent in its entirety from this blog (and my life -- are ya getting the message?). To drive it home, in case you can't quite read the quote, I'll leave it here below as well. It's worth the time to read -- and feel -- and believe -- and take with you -- and live.

I'd rather be ashes than dust,
a spark burnt out in a brilliant blaze,
than to be stifled in dry rot.
For man's chief purpose is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.