No comparisons, no opinions.

No judgments, no opinions. This what my yoga teachers always remind us throughout class. That's not why we are there -- we're there to do yoga (and all the things that entails), not spend 75 minutes focusing on what's wrong with our body or that pose or make mental comments about we look or how far we can push....That's not the point at all. But it's hard not to do that -- both in yoga (in front of a huge mirror) and in everyday life. It's so easy to look at someone else's work schedule/job/hair/weight/body/house/children/life and not hold up your own examples in comparison...even easier to find your own somewhat lacking, easy to think how much better your own whatever would be if you could have just a little bit of what they have.

I've been making those comparisons a lot lately. Too much, frankly. And I've been letting myself come up short. Which is not only unhelpful, but truly just silly. I was looking at a friend's hair the other day and thinking to myself how great it looked (do I have to say also that I was wishing my hair looked that good all the time?). About an hour after we met, my friend sent me an email and mentioned how much she loved my hair and wished hers was more like mine. I thought that was hilarious -- how telling, a sign from the universe? a reminder? whatever, it was hilarious.

I have lots of other friends that post pictures of their kids all the time -- on blogs, on Facebook -- taking the time and effort to honor this progress (to catch it on film) and I find myself wishing I could do -- had done -- more of that with Grif. It's hard for me not to listen to my stay-at-home neighbor when she goes on (and on) about what her 2 year old can do...then worrying about things that Grif hasn't yet mastered, or isn't ready for, or doesn't know....how hard it is not to take all her praising and pride for her own brood and put Grif up next to them...hard to not think he's not measuring up in small ways within my strange mommy brain and somehow blaming myself for these "lacks" because I'm working full-time. Because, of course, if I could work part-time or freelance from home (like so many of my friends do) all these things that I find troublesome in life would magically fix themselves and Grif would be reading Shakespeare next week, right? And my hair would be perfect too, and my weight where I want it and my house clean and....funny how completely ridiculous these comparisons (and the thoughts that lead to them and away from them) seem in print....

I've been on vacation twice now in the past month with two lovely friends (in locales that required swimsuits, so that didn't help with the no-comparisons-no-opinions thing). Both thin, thin, stay-at-home moms. Hard not to draw comparisons there, right? And yet, as much as I found myself envying their time with their kids, their time to workout, their time to do things other than juggle work and daycare with groceries and cleaning and laundry and life, I realized that I didn't want their lives. Not even a piece of them (ok, well, living in the UK would be nice, but not something I'm dying for). I love my life -- I'm ready for it to change, change radically, and working hard to make that come true, both in my work situation and therefore the time and life I have with both the pilot and the boy, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten to be soo thankful for everything I have. Because I am -- so very thankful. I have so much -- and that's not to say more than anyone or better than everyone, but just enough today, for me. And my life. Comparisons be damned.

So, I'm done comparing my weight with that of the females in my life. I'm done comparing my current work requirements and schedule with all the people in my life who are doing it differently (or not at all). I'm done comparing my car, my hair, my dog, my kitchen, my beauty, my wardrobe, my pictures, my blog entries, my legs, my eating habits, my looks, my style, my everything with the people in my life. I'm done finding all these things not quite good enough or sad that I feel like they could be (should be) better, more, most. I'm most especially done comparing my sweet boy Grif to all the other kids on the block, or in his school, or with those of my friends. I think we both deserve better than that. No, I know we deserve better than that.

No judgments, no opinions, no comparisons. Done and done.