Time, more time!

Now more than ever, I feel the pressure of time. If only I had one more day to...if only I had time to...if only I had a few more hours so I could just...it's annoying and slightly anxiety-inducing to feel myself so pressured by time. This blog is the perfect example of this -- I should have started it long (long) ago, and I know I kept just thinking that "tomorrow" would always come, and of course, be the better day to start....

I wish I had more time with my son, Griffin. I wish I had more time with my husband, Jim. More time to workout, more time to read, more time to be one of those (enviable) people who sits at the Coffee Emporium (or Starbucks or fill-in-your-cozy-cool-coffee-hangout-of-choice) and appears to be loftily creating masterpieces on their laptops. More time to put songs on my ipod. To get the boy's 1st year baby book together. To write thank you notes. To say thanks.

I wish I had more time to write. To tell  the important people in my life that they are, in fact, important in my life. More time for church. More time for me. Moremoremoremore. Funny how selfish that seems when it's put down in black and white.

Perhaps the lesson is the question of  "what is time? It's not like it means anything" (oh yes, for you nearly-forty-somethings, if you dig deep, you may remember this line from Some Kind of Wonderful. I think. Time gets away from me, so I don't have time to check just now...). I don't wear a watch. I try to celebrate the time I am in now. To use my time. Funny, that could be the entire theme of this blog, and oddly enough, in my rush to get this out -- no time, no time! -- I somehow missed that. Sigh.

What else am I missing? This time, perhaps I'll take a minute to find out. To breathe. To relax -- and yes, revel -- in the time right now, and nothing more. Cuz this life is beautiful. And right now, if nothing else, I'm taking the time to say thanks for that. And although you didn't know it, couldn't see it (but could you feel it?), I took the time just now -- a quiet minute, a thought-provoking silence -- to just smile. And be happy. In this time.